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Pushing Fifty and a Stroller

True Stories From an Old New Mom

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Hey Everybody!
Thing I Tried to Accomplish During Lockdown but Didn’t
Things to Make Your Older Sister Feel Even Older
Things I’ll Do When I’m an Old Lady
Not One More Thing
Instructions For Taking Care of My Dog
Things That Stress Me
Outrage, Hope & Fear
Improbable Girl
Searching For My Mother at the Sale Racks at Marshall Fields
Labels I Wear
Growing Pains
Things Millennials Actually Didn’t Invent
Places Where I’m Unreasonably Optimistic
More Adult Injuries
Adult Injuries
Why Does Mommy Swear?
To The Nice Lady on Michigan Avenue Who Told Me I Was A Good Mom
Even More Small Things That Make Me Way Too Happy
When I Wasn’t Looking
Alternate Names For My Husband
Whales and Grief
Drinking Games
A Small Medium At Large
A Letter to My Son on His Twelfth Birthday
Things My Daughter Says (With Exclamation Points)
The Smart One and The Pretty One
Recurring Anxiety Dreams
Reasons Why I’m Spacey
Classes That Should Be Offered At College
Words That Sound Yiddish But Aren’t
How I Spent My Midlife Crisis
If I Were A Car
Like Space Mother, Like Daughter (a repost in honor of Mother’s Day)
Toys My Dog Has Eaten
Let’s Party Like It’s 1979
My Bright Ideas
Even More Things I Say A Lot (With Exclamation Points)
Butterfly: My Daughter’s “Diffwent Mom”
My Daughter’s Pants are on Fire
And on the 112th Day of January It Snowed; A Guide to Spring in The Midwest
Surprising Things I’ve Found In My Bed
Our Mitsubishi
Phrases I Hate
Things My Kids Don’t Know I Do
More Small Things That Make Me Way Too Happy
It’s Been A Week
Booze and Ice Cream; How To Prepare For A Mastectomy
More Things I Say A Lot and Things Heather K. Says A Lot (With Exclamation Points)
Deal With It, Kid
Small Things That Make Me Way Too Happy
Make Mine a Double?
The Apple and the Tree
More Things I Say A Lot (With Exclamation Points)
Self-Help
Mommy’s Magic Eye
Helicopter Wife
An Adventure
The Pineapple Tree
My Favorite Boob
Things I Say A Lot (With Exclamation Points)
How To Not Win Friends And Influence People
If My Life Had a Sitcom Title it Would Be “Pushing Fifty and a Stroller”

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