When I Wasn’t Looking

  1. My hair started graying
  2. My son stopped watching cartoons.
  3. My son started using words like “actually” and “ludicrous.”
  4. My joints started creaking.
  5. My clothes stopped fitting right. 
  6. My eyes got worse.
  7. My son started making his own breakfast.
  8. My son started putting himself to sleep at night.
  9. My son stopped being afraid of thunder.
  10. My soul got calmer.

Recurring Anxiety Dreams

girl-dreaming-clipartSometimes I can’t remember my dreams. I can go for weeks thinking I don’t dream at all. Then there are times when I have a flurry of dreams and remember multiple ones from the same night.

Lately, it’s been one of those times.

I’m having a bunch of anxiety dreams that are all thematically connected. As you will see, my subconscious is, apparently, cousins with Captain Obvious. Or she knows how dumb I am and decided to smack me in the face with symbolism.

Of course, these being dreams, they plod along in that ridiculous and bizarre way dreams do that make absolutely no sense. Until they do. And then they don’t again.

Basically, the gist is I don’t know where I’m going, I’m unprepared and overwhelmed. (Duh, who isn’t?) If anyone’s a dream analyst or has some insight, here you go…

  1. I’m at a huge resort with rooms and doors and hallways and stairways everywhere. I’m dragging my luggage behind me. The numbers on the doors don’t make sense. There’s a big atrium and I can see where I’m supposed to go but there’s no reasonable way to get there. I keep banging into people and can’t understand the language. Suddenly all the people are gone and a group of old women pick up the beach towels that are left everywhere.
  2. I’m at my high-school reunion but there are also people there from now. I’m playing volleyball in the lobby of the hotel/convention center with people from my childhood whom I don’t actually know, I only know their names. We aren’t supposed to hit the volleyball with our hands. We all have a pair of drumsticks and we are supposed to hit the ball with those. The volleyball turns into a giant inflatable yoga ball and we get better at the game. There’s a huge circus in the banquet room across the hall that other people from my high-school perform in.
  3. I’m at an unfamiliar airport and I’m dragging my luggage around and I can’t find my gate. I get stopped at security and panic that I’m going to miss my flight. They let me go through a secret door but once I’m on the plane it has stadium seating, like an auditorium. The plane flies too close to the ground and I’m afraid we are going to hit the telephone wires or crash. I want to leave but I’m told this is where my seat is. We make an emergency landing behind a drive-in movie theater. I see a bunch of other planes fly the right way.
  4. I’m performing as a Vikette again. The routine is about to start but I don’t know any of the dance moves and I can’t find my pom pons. I didn’t warm up so my kicks are bad. Everyone is mad at me, especially the girl whose pom pons I took. I pretend I know what I’m doing but ruin everything. I don’t understand why I had to go through with it, why couldn’t I just sit this performance out?
  5. I’m at a sprawling underground cafeteria that serves practically everything. I waste a lot of time looking at all the food presented on plates and figuring out what I’m going to eat. Some of the food moves along a conveyer belt. Some of the food is behind velvet ropes. It goes on and on. The food is nicely lit and looks good but I can’t find anything I want to pay for. The cafeteria is under the dorm where I live, where I share a room with three other girls who are much younger than me, whom I hate. They are mean and I never spend time in my room. They threaten to throw away my furniture. I find other places to sleep.
  6. I’m away at college and I’m exploring the quad and town. I walk blocks in the wrong direction, then turn around and walk back but I don’t end up where I started, which confuses and scares me. I retrace my steps but I wind up someplace where I know I don’t belong. I try to blend in. I look around for cues. The stores and restaurant are unfamiliar. I’m late for class and don’t know where it is. I haven’t done the assignments and fear I will flunk and never graduate. I finally find my advisor’s office, but he’s not there. I tell anyone who will listen that the problem is I just don’t understand math.

So these are just a recent few. I’ve always had stress dreams (being chased, running on all fours, etc.) But sometimes I also have fantastic flying dreams that I love.

I’d love to hear what you dream…