My Bright Ideas

  1. science-teacher-blank-chalkboardThe Hundred Year-Old Diet: Only eat foods that existed 100 years ago. This would eliminate most processed food from the diet.
  2. Eat A Rainbow: Only eat foods that are red, orange, yellow, green, blue or purple. Preferably all on the same plate.
  3. Take a bag and a box to Savers every Wednesday. Do not buy more stuff.
  4. A bed larger than a California King so there’s enough room when everyone and the dog winds up there in the middle of the night.
  5. A real life and online hangout for women called “Coffee and Whine.”
  6. A food additive that gives farts colors so I can avoid walking into them in public, and know who to blame at home.
  7. A doorbell that doesn’t ring but instead shouts “This better be worth it!”
  8. Treadmills on the Metra.
  9. Bubble-wrap clothing for toddlers.
  10. The Steve Jobs Diet: Eat the same meals each day. Takes the stress out of calorie counting, nutrition and meal planning.

Even More Things I Say A Lot (With Exclamation Points)

  1. “Why are your clothes on backwards?!”
  2. “How many days have you been wearing that?!”
  3. “Five more minutes ended twenty minutes ago!”
  4. “It wasn’t really a question!”
  5. “Did you stick your head in the sink again?!”
  6. “Don’t touch my stuff!”
  7. “Pudding isn’t breakfast!”
  8. “Put the couch cushions back on!”
  9. “You have ice cream in your hair!”
  10. “Don’t feed the dog your banana!”

Things My Kids Don’t Know I Do

  1. Eat their Halloween candy
  2. Sneak their old toys out of the house to drop at Goodwill
  3. Throw out most of their art projects blank-paint-easel-clipart-art-class-clip-art
  4. Keep their baby teeth happy-tooth
  5. Miss them when they’re at school
  6. Kiss them in their sleep
  7. Plan to live with them when I’m an old lady
  8. Have ambitions
  9. Want to go on vacation somewhere besides Disney
  10. easter-bunny-clip-art-easter-basket-clip-artEat their Easter candy

More Small Things That Make Me Way Too Happy

  1. LaCroix bubble water
  2. Old flannel shirts
  3. My free birthday gift from Sephora
  4. purple-dotted-flower-transparentThat one week in the spring when my lilac bushes bloom
  5. Hammocks hammock-bear-thumb
  6. A good hair day
  7. No line for the bathroom at a public place
  8. Jean jacket weather
  9. Time to myself
  10. A hot shower

Small Things That Make Me Way Too Happy

  1. My morning coffeecup-of-coffee
  2. When I perfectly time the avocado
  3. When the snow flies off the roof of the car while I drive and makes what looks like a vapor trail
  4. New slipper-socks
  5. Finding an excellent condition Kate Spade purse at the thrift shop
  6. New flannel pajama pants
  7. In-n-Out Burger
  8. Steamed potstickers from Chin Chin
  9. girl-sleeping-clip-artSleeping in
  10. The sun shining anytime November thru April sun-and-clouds-transparent
  11. Someone else doing the dishes
  12. Nailing it at parallel parking
  13. When my kids listen to me
  14. A foot massage
  15. A comment on my blog