Places Where I’m Unreasonably Optimistic

  1. The travel-size section at Walgreens (I’m taking all the cute minis on my trip)
  2. The exercise aisle at Five Below (I’d exercise if I had a new yoga mat…and block…and pedometer…and)
  3. The produce section at Costco (I’m only eating salad from now on)
  4. The Container Store (Gonna organize everything)
  5. Barnes & Noble (I’ll make time to read a whole book)
  6. REI (Sleeping outside looks fun)
  7. Any hotel gym (I’m totally gonna treadmill on vaycay)
  8. The Great Escape (We need a pool, right?)
  9. Any craft store (I’ll make this…and this…and)
  10. Home Depot (Let’s play in all the fake kitchens)
  11. The boat show (I could get used to this)
  12. An open house (Ooh, nice trafalet)
  13. A buffet (I can try whatever I want)
  14. The Kwik-Mart (My Powerball ticket is the winner)
  15. Parking garages (I always get a good spot)

Even More Small Things That Make Me Way Too Happy

  1. Clean sheets.
  2. When Pandora “gets” me.
  3. When sesame crunchies are on the salad bar.
  4. When my dog keeps my feet warm.
  5. Salsa.
  6. The smell of a brand new book.
  7. Hazelnut cookies.
  8. G-2 pens.
  9. The travel size section at Walgreens.
  10. Having a show to binge watch.

When I Wasn’t Looking

  1. My hair started graying
  2. My son stopped watching cartoons.
  3. My son started using words like “actually” and “ludicrous.”
  4. My joints started creaking.
  5. My clothes stopped fitting right. 
  6. My eyes got worse.
  7. My son started making his own breakfast.
  8. My son started putting himself to sleep at night.
  9. My son stopped being afraid of thunder.
  10. My soul got calmer.

Drinking Games

  1. margarita-transparentTake a drink every time I enter a room but have no idea why I came in.
  2. Take a drink every time I ask, “Where’s my _________________?”
  3. Take a drink every time someone asks, “What’s for dinner?”
  4. Take a drink every time I pick up someone else’s dirty dishes.
  5. Take a drink every time I sit in front of the computer but forget what I wanted to google.
  6. Take a drink every time my husband can’t find his phone.
  7. Take a drink every time my daughter asks for a new toy.
  8. Take a drink every time my son can’t find his shoes.
  9. Take a drink every time I have to pee in the middle of the night. (counterproductive?)
  10. Take a drink every time I sit down to write but forget my train of thought.

Things My Daughter Says (With Exclamation Points)

  1. “You know how much me yuv pink!”
  2. “Me foosey!” (thirsty)
  3. “Me want a donut and Barbie!”
  4. “Where da skizzers an da sticky tape?!”
  5. “Me like lollipops tooooooo much!”
  6. “Me want all da toys me seen on TP yestehday!”
  7. “Me only ticklish everywhere!”
  8. “Tushies are stinky!”
  9. “Me want to win!”
  10. “Me want to be pretty yike a unicorn!”